Cadet Dirk Porter
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Cadet Dirk Porter

Commodore Dirk Porter


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BIOGRAPHICAL DATA:

NAME: Dirk Porter a.k.a. Porter Scott a.k.a. Scott Mann a.k.a. Manfred Dirkard a.k.a. Angelus Gladius a.k.a. Angel Noir a.k.a. Adam Angel
ALTERNATE DESIGNATION: Jeff Hogg
HEIGHT: 130 cm
WEIGHT: 88 kg
EYES: Blue
HAIR: Blondish
BORN: unknown
RANK: Commodore
POSITION: One-Half of the Head Honcho, Former Captain of the whole Damn ship, Chief Plebe, Head Grav_Gurney Operator, Self Appointed Director of Department of Dirty Tricks
AWARDS: Most Likely to be Promoted 2 times, Most Likely to be Demoted 50 times, Most Likely to piss off Superior Officers 10 times, Most Likely to appease Superior Officer 70 times, Winner of last years Klingon Mosh Pit Dance, Hardest Working Man on the Ship 5 times, and Voted Most Likely to say "Fuck You Sir!" champion for all time


NOTES FROM COMMODORE MacLaren during his Captaincy
NEED TO KNOW BASIS ONLY!:

Captains Recruitment Log: Re Recruit Dirk Porter: Capt. MacLaren reporting

   I've just finished reviewing Porter's Personality and Vocational Aptitude testing. Although his scores would make him a far better candidate for either Security or Engineering, he has chosen to sign into the ships register as a cadet in the Medical Department (intern). While this is not unusual for Bar Fleet, his psychology scores prove him to have been a long term and likely injured veteran of Star Fleet (probably within Star Fleet Security). Of particular note is the point in the interview where I mentioned that the antiquated prostheses that he the wears could be replaced with more current models. He smiled lightly and said, " Not without Ordinance Disposal on hand". Further review of general tricorder readings indicated micro explosives situated inside the Zygomatic Arch and at the base of the elbow. Of further interest in his psychology testing is his marked xenophobic tendency that is immediately put aside with aliens he considers his friends, or one of whose own. All things considered, he is an extremely well trained and violent individual. If we can make him one of our own he will be a tremendous asset to the Casual.

Incident Report: Re Exceptional Performance, Ensign Porter

  Just had an interesting discussion with Cmdr. Nathaniel Hardcase. He was ready to field strip my corpse for allowing Cadet Porter to join Medical. Apparently Cadet Porter was in the Holo Suite with some of the Party Marines and they ran the program file, Texas Rangers at the Mexican Border Box Canyon. Not only was Porter the last man standing, he also had the greatest number of kills and the best rounds fired to kills ratio. While allowing such an incident to cause me to breach Doctor patient confidentiality is normally unthinkable, at his request we immediately reviewed the specifications for Porter's optical implant. the implant is so full of scanner related technology that using it, as a targeting aid, is impossible.

Quarterly Officers Review: Re Cadet Dirk Porter

  Cadet Porter, having mastered Xenobiology and Basic Terran Surgical Concepts was to be granted the rank of Ensign and assigned to the Staff Surgeon (Me) for continuing education on this date. During the Formal Review Conference, Porter denied his promotion at this time. He further asked to be assigned to the position of Chief Orderly. While his request is highly unusual, as the least capable candidate normally holds that position, I agreed to his request of assignment but insisted that he take the rank of Ensign. At this time he also asked to begin advanced training in Anesthesiology, Cryology and Cyberology. Again I agreed. I can only assume that Porter intends to puzzle out a methodology for removing and replacing his implants. If that is the case than any promotion past Ensign would be ill advised.

Amendment to Officers Review: Disciplinary Action

  Ensign Porter managed to initiate and survive a brawl with the crew of the Klingon ship escorting visiting Klingon Diplomat Khlor'Ga. Porter has been demoted to rank of Cadet, and warned that if there had been any casualties in the Klingon crew, he would have lost his rank entirely. His only response was that, " the whole damn race has back up organs for every biological system, I would have needed a much larger barstool to have killed anyone". I can only assume that this was a warning to me, to never promote him again without his permission.

Incident Report: Re Breaking and Entering loc. Captains Office/Unscheduled Modifications of Same

  I returned from my annual tour of Relaxia's hospice centers to find Cadet Porter sitting behind my desk in my office. He apologized for his unwanted intrusion into my office and very quickly changed the subject to office security. He then demonstrated my new toy. He handed me a new set of Commanders Pips and told me to tap them, the same way that we tap our badges prior to communicating. I humored him and found myself inside a level five-containment field. I tapped them again and the field turned off. Before I could launch into a sound berating, he explained that should I need to use it, I would have to exit the office into the Jeffries Tube behind my desk. He also said that the field has a randomizer built into the harmonic system, so it should be capable of holding a Borg for a short time. then he invited me to try it and motioned for me to switch places with him. Once behind the desk, I activated the restraining dome. With Porter ensnared I should have finally 'dressed him down', but the only dialogue that took place is transcribed as follows.

    I asked, "And why would I need this toy?"
    He responded, " You never know what could be sitting in this chair"
    I looked at him closely and asked, "You mean something like you?"
    He smiled, "Something exactly like me?"

  I have to 'invite' him to the next Noetics Lecture so someone can scan this runt and tell me what makes him tick.

Captain's Personal Log (MacLaren): Re Cadet Porter

  The Noetics lecture was a bad idea. I volunteered Cadet Porter as a test subject. He declined so I indirectly ordered him. The visiting Tellurian was in sick bay for a week. It's hard to say exactly what happened. the tricorder readings indicate that her internal temperature inside the cranial cavity suffered an eleven percent increase before she passed out. Additionally, she was incoherent but vocalizing on her way to sick bay. She mentioned the following phrases 'artificial bipolar disorder', 'only a sociopath, and 'Mr. Grey, how do you intend to de-claw an entire culture". At this time she is recovering. She has been instructed to refrain from using her talents till the brain damage has finished healing. Fortunately she remembers nothing. Cadet Porter has refused to comment, but has been highly nurturing with her. I should note for the record that either Head Nurse Darvis or Porter has been on duty at all times since the incident. The duty logs indicate that they have managed to switch shifts with others to make certain that this 'coincidence' occurs. At this time I feel that an investigation of Cadet Dirk Porter is in order. I'm going to keep this private for now. I think that our Security has proven to be insufficient where Porter is concerned. While I am sure that he could be incapacitated, I don't think that they would be able to keep him under surveillance without tipping him off.

Captain's Personal Log (MacLaren): Re Cadet Porter

  The initial searches of Star Fleet's database showed Cadet Porter to have been an instructor at Star Fleet Academy, specializing in alien cultures. Five years prior to his recruitment to the UBS Casual, he was assigned to the USS Essex. It is interesting to note that the Essex is the sister ship of the USS Athena, the progenitor of the Casual. He was assigned to security there at the rank of Lt. JG, and during two tours of duty earned the rank of Lieutenant and became the Department Head of his Department. Medical records for him do not indicate the presence of his cybernetic limb and eye until he transferred to the USS Essex but do mention that his xenophobic nature was present during his training at Academy. I find it interesting that Star Fleet would send a known xenophobe to the Essex. The Essex was quietly a sociology experiment inquiring into the social dynamics of a truly race mixed crew.

  Just for the sake of completeness I also directed my line of inquiry to the list of Star Fleet Operatives bearing Legal Cybernetic Devices. The list turned up Dirk Porter (missing). that was expected. But the list also showed unusual entries Porter Scott (deceased) and, Scott Mann (deceased). Both had the same model identification for their appliances and all three had the same date of surgery. Just to be thorough I perused the Star Fleet Academy enrollment records. Scott Mann was the only one that actually enrolled. Scott Mann was also xenophobic. What or who is wandering through my hospital. I'm going to mull over this situation for the next week, but right now it looks like this investigation is going to become official.

Transcription of Security Tape 11702-93-Medical/Office/CMO clipped and deleted by order of CMO

Tape starts: TIME:data not available DATE:data not available

    CMO (Captain MacLaren) at desk, states enter to open door
    Enter office: Subject Identified as Cmdr. Sulak (Star Fleet Security) / Vulcan
    Vulcan Speaks: Mr. MacLaren, may I sit?
    CMO: Yes, and when you address me I will have my rank.
    Vulcan sits
    Note: Security Tape shows an energy spike but is unrecoverable for 2.3 seconds
    Vulcan: While Star Fleet will not recognize your independence, and thus your rank, in the interest of diplomacy I will. As to the force dome, I taught him that trick, so I know how to counter it. Furthermore the topic of my visit is of course him and his continued safety. May we discuss his situation Captain?
    CMO: You have some explanations?
    Vulcan: I have answers, anything else would be breaking a promise to him. But before I am free to answer your questions. I must ask your opinion of him and what you intend to do with him?
    CMO: He is a good Cadet. He shouldn't be a Cadet at all; but, he will do everything in his power to avoid rank. Everything else depends on your answers.
    Vulcan: Do you intend to hold him against his will or discipline him in any way for his charade?
    CMO: pauses and considers, finally pronouncing: No
    Vulcan: During my childhood it was initially thought that I had the Vulcan mental talents due to my ability for separating truth from lies. While I have none of those talents I am an intuitive lie detector. Since you have told the truth, I don't have to assassinate you. Please continue with your line of questions.
    CMO: Why is he here?
    Vulcan: There was a time when the United Federation of Planets transcended, violated, the Prime Directive. He and I are living proof of their error. After his tour on the Essex he decided that he wanted to retire from active service. The only way for him to do so would be if he assumed another identity. To do otherwise would leave him open to an assassination attempt. He is here because there is a decent amount of security and chaos here. His identity is protected, and he still has a productive life.
    CMO: You refuse to use his name. Why?
    Vulcan: Very astute. Refusing to use his name is for the benefit of the security devices in your office.
    CMO: But wouldn't that provide further proof?
    Vulcan: Yes, but it is not required. I have all the documentation that I would require. This tape could be used to obfuscate motives in any proceedings should they arise.
    CMO: If you have all the documentation required, then why not let him fall? He isn't necessary.
    Vulcan: When we were at the Academy he initiated the ritual of kinship. He is as close to a brother to me as a human can be.
    CMO: Why all the cloak and dagger stuff. You generated a schizophrenic disorder inside his psychology.
    Vulcan: That was his idea actually. He predicted that a certain sequence of events would indicate that someone had penetrated his subterfuge other than the various 'black bag' operations that Star Fleet controls. You completed those events by initiating your probe into the Academy database. The only test that I had to determine an answer for when I arrived was whether or not he was still alive.
    CMO: What did you and he do, I mean how was the Prime Directive violated?
    Vulcan: Do you remember when the Orions were a threat to the UPF?
    CMO: Yes, of course.
    Vulcan: Are they now?
    CMO: No. (CMO pauses, then continues) You're telling me the two of you 'de-clawed' the Orion Pirate Families?
    Vulcan: It would be more truthful to say that he commanded an illegal organization that socially modified the Merchant Families of Orion into a working democracy that could eventually enter the UPF.
    CMO: Oh my.
    Vulcan: If you have no further questions, then I'll be leaving.
    CMO: Not just yet. Where did the appliances come from?
    Vulcan: During the final phase of the cultural re-education, we were blown up. An Orion surgeon who specialized in illegal appliances repaired and 'improved' us. He was something of a mad doctor type and one of his trademarks was the use of explosives to ensure return business.
    CMO:Why does he continually refuse rank?
    Vulcan: That is part of the artificially induced bi-polar disorder. It was put into place to prevent him from requiring rank, which would be detrimental to his survival should he be discovered by the command structure of the Casual. If the information I have shared with you today were to have come out after he earned any responsibilities, it would have been 57.679% likely that he would have been sentenced to death, and 92.629% likely that he would have been sentenced to exile after the information became public. Exile would have eventually caused death due to discovery.
    CMO: I'll keep him, but I need to know how to turn off the schizophrenia.
    Vulcan:
    The procedure is very simple. If you tell him, in private, this phrase, "Janus is a two faced god, so he can always cover his back". However, the programming will remain part of him for the rest of his life. It will reassert itself if he begins to feel that this level of subterfuge is again required. That would mean that every time the command structure changes, it would re-assert itself. Now that I have given you this information, you are his custodian and control.
    CMO: Why me, Darvis is his wife. Shouldn't she have those responsibilities?
    Vulcan: Ah, you never discovered her little secret did you?
    CMO: What now?
    Vulcan: Darvis is a Romulan.
    End Excerpt


 

Commander Dr. Darvis and Yo!Man! Dirk Porter
Cmdr. Dr. Darvis and
Captain Dirk Porter
Yo!Man! Porter showing Lt. Cmdr. MacLaren his "special tding"
Captain Porter showing
Lt. Cmdr. MacLaren his
"special thing"
Hanging out with the Command Staff
Hanging out with the Command Staff
Porter taking notes on Crew activities for future reference
Porter taking notes on
Crew activities for
future reference
For some reason Porter like to check all drinks for poison
For some reason Porter like
to check all drinks
for poison
Porter also earns extra credits as a vibrator repair man
Porter also earns
extra credits as a
vibrator repair man

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